R E B I R T H - potent with symbolism and energy.
This word will feel different to different people however I feel much of what I will share today may resonate deeply with lots of you. Nevertheless it may not and that’s fine, if it doesn’t resonate with you today, come back another time, but leave judgement at the door, there's no room for that here.
This time of year is potent with symbolism and energy, very much a sense of rebirth. I really felt this a week or two ago when out walking I came across a tree that appeared to be giving birth to a new branch! I observed that I didn’t think it looked very attractive! Ironically as I continued my path I came across a burst of delicate colour, I observed how I thought these flowers were a welcome burst of beauty. Interestingly, when I looked up the plant, these particular flowers are toxic. This was a powerful reminder that we are often distracted and drawn to things that are attractive, neatly packaged and convenient, when in actual fact they don’t serve us well and may actually be toxic to our wellbeing. Conversely, leaning into discomfort brings about much needed change and growth, just like the tree pictured. The tree to me symbolised drawing upon the wisdom and experience of the existing tree (our life's journey so far) and that there is always opportunity for change, growth and rebirth - regardless how difficult, unattractive or unpleasant it may feel at the time!
The Winter Solstice this week brings one cycle to an end and births the next. An opportunity to pause, to be still, just like the ‘solstice’ - to stand still. Last night I shared a Winter Solstice practice with a group of students. I took part, but as a facilitator of the practice, which requires me to give energy out rather than turning inwards. Earlier this week as I took that practice for myself personally, I found it hard to tune inward as my mind was busy wondering about what elements were good to share in the upcoming class. So today, I have turned inwards and reflected on last night’s practice. In order to be rebirthed, something has to die. Last night we witnessed what in our lives needs to die, to be released, in order to make space. The practice asked us to leave judgement at the door, to witness what came to the surface that made us feel heavy, dark or resistant. I wrote the word ‘perfect’ and felt a sense of lightness as I watched that word being burnt by the flame of my candle. Later in the practice we were asked to see what needed to be birthed into our lives, to bring lightness, contentment and joy. What did we want to fill that new space with?( because it will get filled regardless, better to choose what to fill it with!) So, we sat with those questions, without judgment, witnessed what was illuminated for us and wrote it down. We gave energy and fuel to that intention as we committed it to the flame of the candle. ‘Nature’ was the word that came to light for me.
As I drove home last night I felt a sense of heaviness, I felt perhaps the session wasn’t as deeply meaningful as I wanted it to be. Having a break of a few weeks from teaching I didn’t feel in my flow and was worried my students may have been disappointed, or just not ‘felt’ it as much as I had intended. I realised this morning that, whilst I was busy sharing externally, my inner voice had given me everything I needed to know at this potent time. I place a huge amount of pressure on myself (like many of us do!) to get everything right, to make it perfect, to meet the perceived expectations of others. Yet as far as our yoga practice is concerned, all that is asked of us is to show up authentically, to witness the mind, heart and body, and to seek balance and harmony - not perfection. I was real last night, I showed up authentically and I hope my students felt that. Ultimately as a facilitator we provide the space and guidance, not the work, the work is an internal, individual practice.
Seeking perfection is futile and overwhelming. I’m sure I’m not the only one that spends my day trying to be everything to everyone, and of course that requires me to be different things for different people as well as showing up for myself and meeting my own subconscious expectations! So here I am today, being held accountable “I release the need to be perfect”
Getting out for a run early this morning, stepping into nature I felt light, joyful and a sense of being ‘home’ - I again realised the power of my inner voice from last night. No wonder I feel light and home when I am out in nature; I am nature, we are all nature, not separate from it or from each other.
When busy in my mind, seeking perfection, I am disconnecting myself from my true nature. Nature isn’t perfect, Gaia is dark and light, contraction and expansion comfort and discomfort - so are we.
I reflected why it was that I hadn't felt I was in my flow last night compared with how I felt when I crafted the practice last year. During lockdown, I had a huge sense of expansion, deep realisations and a sense of finding myself. Once restrictions were lifted I look back and can see that I felt a sense of contraction rather than freedom. During the lockdowns I experienced deep meaningful connections; with my most precious souls; my husband and children, with mother nature and with my Self. I authentically connected with myself, my family and nature everyday. When our so-called freedom returned, I had less time for those connections, my time and energy became spread much more thinly. Now that’s not to say that I want to retreat from society, connecting back with our yoga community has felt immensely authentic and much needed, I am so grateful for that. Nevertheless balance and harmony I have not found and that, after all, is what our yoga practice asks of us.
Releasing the need to be perfect, to be everything to everyone has created space, space in which I will fill with nature, not just getting out and connecting with the natural world around me, but connecting to my own true nature, discarding the 'me that’s for show' and allowing my individual inner light to shine forth. It’s within me and it’s within you.
Being in nature connects me to my deepest sense of self. I find I have my most creative or illuminating thoughts, ideas and resolutions when I have spent time in nature. This, along with my yoga practice brings balance and harmony for me. We have the tools at our disposal, we just need to trust that inner voice, the voice of our one true nature, and follow it without concern for perfection.
I am very excited to ‘birth’ some new projects and offerings next year, all of which are very in sync with my Winter Solstice intentions.
The Menopause Well-being workshops ask us to release our old selves, show up authentically, release the expectations we place upon ourselves or that society does as to how we transition through this phase in our lives.
The four Nature of Yoga day retreats next year encourage us to really tune into seasonal practices that seek to bring balance and harmony to our lives.
I’m also very excited about the next step in my learning journey. In April I will step into Shinrin-Yoku (forest bathing) training and later in the year the next level of my Yoga, Ayurveda & Holistic Health training.
( Check out the bookings page to grab a place for any of these upcoming events)
So as 2021 comes to a close, I hope as we are rebirthed into this new cycle that I can connect with you in authentic ways. That our inner lights may illuminate one another in each other's times of darkness, after all that is what natural, authentic connection is about.
Om shanti
🙏
Sophia