This last week has reconnected me to my wild heart, has woken me from a sense of dormancy over winter by reconnecting me to the power of nature. Through awe and wonder I have experienced feeling truly alive again, connected to my wild, beating heart, whilst rooted in this wild, pulsing earth.
As we feel the dormant winter energy starting to rise from its slumber we can celebrate early signs of spring and harness that expansive rising energy. The 1st of February marked Imbolc. (the pagan holiday that celebrates the return of light and warmth, and to prepare for the coming spring). Whilst the 21st March marks Ostara.(the Pagan solar holiday honouring the spring's warmth, light from the sun, and the awakening of the earth.)
It goes without saying that the birthing of anything can look brutal and messy; from a seed breaking through its shell, an animal or human giving birth or the dissolving of the caterpillar in it's chrysalis to become a butterfly.
“For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn’t understand growth, it would look like complete destruction.” Cynthia Occelli
Every shift of the seasons there is the opportunity to go through transformation; letting go, breaking open, re-birthing and renewing ourselves, continuing to grow and evolve into our most authentic selves.
Over the coming weeks we’ll be harnessing that energy through the exploration of:
Sankalpa (Intention)
Samskaras (mental & emotional grooves)
Tapas (heat/burn/discipline)
Advaita (nondualism - connection to wholeness/source)
I was drawn to the fern as I felt it's heart energy, potential and an unfurling.
Typically ferns symbolise growth, new life, and resilience.
Growth: Ferns can survive and grow in difficult conditions.
New life: Many indigenous people believe ferns represent new beginnings.
Resilience: Ferns are among the oldest plants on Earth.
Whilst exploring my connection to the term Wild Heart, I came across some inspiring words from Brene Brown and Roshi Joan Halifax to use as our mantra this term:
Strong back - Soft front - Wild heart
We’ll be working on our roots (foot strength & balances), twists to ignite the fire within, back strengthening (glutes & upper back) and heart opening to connect to ourselves and the whole/source. Along with the practice of Sankalpa (intention), observance of our samskaras and meditation/relaxation with our senses (Pancha Indryas) to slowly reconnect us to our Wild Hearts.
Now is the time to be fearless, trust in your wild heart to break free, rise up and grow.
These Blogs are really a personal exploration of my practices, myself and of the great insight and wisdom that is all around me. Insight and wisdom that comes from deep listening; to nature, to teachers, students and friends. To what comes alive on the pages of a book: the great writers, artists, poets, philosophers, and of course the plethora of inspiring content that can be found online.
Last month I drew inspiration from the Butterfly, how they source sweet nectar from flower to flower but also need sodium from dirty puddles. I’m much like a butterfly, flitting from one book, conversation, podcast to the next sourcing that sweet divine nectar, whilst also practicing deep listening within; the grittier, harder practice of self reflection and self exploration.
So if you continue to read on, I hope it is a source of inspiration to explore your own practices, your Self and the great wisdom all around you. Some of my words may or may not resonate with you and that's okay, we all have different experiences and different needs, so absorb what resonates and leave the rest without judgement 🙏
‘Wild & Free’ is not a term most people would use to describe me, certainly not those who have known me a long time, but that is who I really am.
The conditions we are born in, that we grow up in, the experiences we have in life, the people we surround ourselves with, all adjust the flavour of who we are.
Vegetables taste different depending on the quality of the soil and the conditions they’re grown in, some flowers colour differently depending on the acid content of the soil. Adjustments might be made to mitigate poor soil or lack of sunlight, but plants will thrive if they're planted in their optimum conditions - where they belong.
The same is true for humans. A great deal of the conditions and environment we are born into, and are grown in, are out of our control. Subconsciously as we grow we make adjustments, we adapt, so that we find a sense of belonging. Sometimes this allows space for our wild hearts to be free, sometimes it closes them off with protective armour. Maybe if we’re lucky at some point in our lives, we’ll feel a distant rumbling within, calling us to reconnect with that wildness, it’s up to us if we deeply listen to that, to make space and reconnect with that.
My own inner rumbling has been calling for a while now, but it’s beat is getting louder. I think it started as I entered my 40’s, a time when I felt I was losing the beautiful energy of youth. Now that I’m approaching another milestone birthday, I feel different. On the one hand it scares me that I feel I’m running out of time, but on the other hand I feel I’m gaining an inner strength and wisdom that feels wilder, free and incredibly beautiful.
Studies show that a lot of people pause to take stock of their lives when they find themselves approaching a milestone birthday and are likely to engage in a lot of introspection, treating a milestone birthday as an invitation to connect the dots between where we’ve been, where we are right now, and where we hope to head next in our lives.
We spent the last week on a last minute trip to Madeira, to celebrate our son’s 18th. We spent a few days in the capital Funchal and then a few days on the West Coast. Whilst we had a lot of ‘fun’ in Funchal, the West Coast is where I felt I belonged. We spent very little time indoors despite the mixed weather and as always I came away feeling changed in some way by my connection to ‘place’ in nature. So many metaphors and analogies from this time spent there have inspired this term's practice. (the fertile volcanic soil, the levadas, the powerful force of the Atlantic ocean, the contrasting energies both land and human)
Reconnecting with ‘living’ requires being ‘in it’, ‘feeling it’ through all of our senses, rather than just seeing it with our eyes. Closing our eyes to experience something, can connect us more easily to our other senses and our heart energy. Through dreaming, remembering, visioning and feeling into life, we can authentically create the conditions that allow us to thrive. Feeling alive is rugged, messy and wild much like the West Coast….it’s certainly not picture perfect like social media.
Whilst on Seixal beach in Madeira we experienced a stark contrast in energy or intention for why people were there. Numerous people were there trying to create the perfect image or reel, with multiple attempts at the perfect run or swish of the hair, or even changing outfits for a different 'look'....before packing up and leaving.
Whilst others (us!) were jumping around to get warm before running into the waves, being thrown under, feeling that rush as we found the surface again. Skin tingling from the cold salty water as we got out, the coarseness of the black sand everywhere as we tried to get dry and dressed ....remnants of the beach still found in clothes or shoes the next day, a reminder of an exhilarating experience.
What experience would those perfect pictures or reels remind the others of?
I took this picture whilst walking around the Monte Palace gardens in Funchal. The colours are beautiful, perhaps even IG worthy, but it feels wrong to share it, even here, as I feel a great sadness looking at it - it closes off my wild heart. These beautiful birds are not where they ‘belong’. Their feet walk on man-made concrete and whilst they have no cage, they cannot fly away because their wings have been clipped/or they might be the unclipped offspring of clipped birds.
It looks like freedom but it is anything but.
Youth and beauty can keep us tamed or trapped. The older I get the less focused I am on how I look but more on how I feel, giving me more freedom to remember my wildness. Watching the people on the beach creating their online content, ticking off another IG worthy location, reminded me of the flamingo, of my younger self; trapped by focusing on how others saw me, how I saw myself. Only showing the parts of me that were socially acceptable or pleasing rather than the messy, wild flawed human being I am, that we all are.
Deeply listening and experiencing, requires us to sit closely with suffering, with rawness and imperfection.
What is seen online may look free and beautiful, it might provide creative satisfaction or enjoyment in the moment and some external validation, but it is very different to feeling a connection to life through all of our senses - for me at least.
How we project to the world comes from our internal conditions and our internal conditions are the product of how or where we have rooted, the ways in which we adjusted or adapted to those conditions and experiences. It's easy to judge others, but through this exploration of samskaras, sankalpa and advaita I am reminded to have compassion for myself and for others. Remembering that whilst we may feel like separate individual islands, we are in fact all much more complex than we appear and are all connected to the same core/source.
May our hearts be full of love
May our minds be full of peace
May our souls be full of bliss
I hope you’ll enjoy this Spring, Madeira flavoured, practice with me this month as we reconnect with our Wild Hearts.
Om shanti
🙏
Sophia
*I can't take the credit for all the photos this month, thanks to Jaime my husband for some beautiful images that captured authentic moments in time 🙏
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